This is one of those topics that have always made sense to me: put off what you could do today for tomorrow. What harm could it do? Seriously, though, it might seem like a good idea at the time to say you’ll pick up the mess in your living room tomorrow, but tomorrow, will you think the same thing? It’s an ongoing cycle: you say you’ll do something tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and the house is still messy. Your clothes are still all over the ground and nothing’s been fulfilled besides false promises. Is this a productive strategy to get work done or just a crux so you don’t have to do anything at all? Also, why do people procrastinate to begin with?

For me, at least, I know I’m a perfectionist. I want things to come naturally to me – to have the words sound as good as they can be, so I feel satisfied at the end of writing something, for example. The mood has to strike or the words, or the household chores, or the birthday card is never complete. I know a lot of people are like this – they say that they like the adrenaline rush, but in the end, they’re only stressed out once the deadline pops up in the near future and nothing’s done. Other things were deemed “more important,” except for the one thing that would eventually be important in the LONG TERM. Long term planning is the worst because it’s so far in the future, at least in your mind, but it just creeps up on you unless you get a jump on it ahead of time. Procrastination is a reflex for people who want “just a little bit more time” to think and “prepare,” but in the end it’s only hurting you to not be on top of what’s coming.

Something I recently read about procrastination – it really does make a lot of sense: “Procrastination is not a problem of time management or of planning. Procrastinators are not different in their ability to estimate time, although they are more optimistic than others. ‘Telling someone who procrastinates to buy a weekly planner is like telling someone with chronic depression to just cheer up.” I feel like that by trying to manipulate every little thing to make it right, it doesn’t always work out the way you planned anyway. Therefore, I do what feels right and sometimes it happens that once I realize that I have no time left, it all just comes flowing out and I’m able to be productive. It sometimes is counterproductive, but at other times, my creative rush wouldn’t have come otherwise.

If you yourself are a procrastinator which one are you?

1. Arousal Type/Thrill Seeker– those who wait till the last minute for a rush.

2. Avoider – those who may be avoiding fear of failure or even fear of success and are very concerned about what others think of them.

3. Decisional Procrastinator– those who can’t make a decision, therefore, absolves them of responsibility for outcome of the situation.

It’s hard to pinpoint anyone as one “type” of person, but in general, procrastination allows for bad habits like indecisiveness and avoidance to overshadow the good characteristics, like being strong at handling pressure.  Cheers!

My life philosophy is that “whatever happens, happens” and that if something I’m looking forward to doesn’t happen, I’m optimistic enough to believe that something I don’t expect will happen and be just as good.“I’m a realist” is the phrase I hear a lot of people say when giving reasons to reject optimism, but that makes optimism out to not being “real.” However, being optimistic can pay off when you’re in a bad mood and are trying to think the best of the situation. I always internally think “everything’s going to be alright in the end,” which has helped me out of some bad funks and basically made me out to be a slightly idealistic person. So, the question is, is it bad to be “hands off” – within reason – with your life?

I do realize that you can’t be completely “hands off” with your life, though, because there are some things that you just should do or they won’t happen. Those types of things would be anything having to do with earning a living or completing a degree – stuff that is pertinent for success. Although money isn’t everything, it is something you inevitably need in life for food, clothes, and general necessities. Earning money for both yourself and/or family is something that will always be there, therefore, being completely hands off doesn’t work in those situations.

However, in matters of friendship or social events, sometimes it’s best not to think so much and to just let life happen. I know when I have high expectations for an event, a lot of times it doesn’t turn out how I expected. For example, I know at times I’ve anticipated days in advance a lunch with a friend, but at the last minute that friend has canceled, leaving me with a lost day. However, the day’s not lost at 11am – there’s always hope for other things going right that day, therefore, calling up another friend and making plans is not out of the question.

“Going with the flow” doesn’t have to be so bad if you can just go with what life throws at you. Honestly, I think it makes you stronger if you can deal with difficulties with style and grace. So, go out there and don’t waste your time bemoaning those “lost days” – get out there and make your own rules!

Some tips about “going with the flow”:

1. Don’t let yourself get mad when things don’t go as planned. It might not be exactly how you planned, but you are the master of your emotions. Think about what just happened and then act accordingly.

2. Always be prepared with alternate ideas for plans. Having flexible ideas in your mind, instead of just a set schedule can take the stress off of you when things go as planned.

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Seriously, some things aren’t worth worrying about. Canceled lunch plans or a horrible commute, but there’s always a way to smooth things out. Maybe you had an important meeting – call in and explain the situation. For canceled lunch plans, you can always go to lunch by yourself and read the book you’ve been dying to catch up on, or call another friend. There’s always another way to view a situation and by seeing the glass as half-full instead of half-empty, life seems much easier in the long run. Renew your optimism and channel your strong, independent self!  Cheers!

Worry can have its place in life — if it encourages us to act and incites life-improving change it’s serving its purpose. But if worrying has just become habit, with idle fretting and rumination a general way to cope with the world at large, it might be time to nip it in the bud. Here are a couple of ways to deal with worry in your life:

1. Accept uncertainty.

Oftentimes, worry can be a persistent fear of the unknown. But what’s so great about certainty? Ask yourself some questions: Is it possible to be certain about everything in life? How could uncertainty be helpful? If you are imagining the worst case scenarios just as a matter of course, try envisioning a range of outcomes, from good too bad to just acceptable; all are equally probable.

2. Set aside a worry time.

Worry wart ways won’t be undone in a moment, so allow yourself the time and space in your life to worry. Maybe you need to give yourself 15 minutes on your morning commute. Postpone all worries that spring up at other times in the day by noting them and coming back to them during the worry time. The idea is to confine your worry to one brief part of your day so that your concerns aren’t stretching to fill every waking moment.  After “worry time” remember to “let it go”, move on to something else more positive.  Cheers!

It can be hard sometimes to find inspiration around you, especially when you’re just stuck in your old routines and need a change. There are many definitions of inspiration – that could include writing, general beauty, or just a change in your surroundings that makes you stop and think.

For example, sometimes sitting in a public space helps you run into interesting people that make you think about your life differently.

Seeing people and taking in what you see can sometimes trigger some intrigue in you. How do you gain inspiration in everyday life?

People-watch while out in public.  As I said above, sometimes observing people can help you think introspectively about life and give you original ideas on how to change up your own life.  I love seeing what books people are reading, it inspires me to read more.  As well, I find it interesting to see what people are reading since people’s book choices can tell a lot about a person. Hearing people’s choice of music is also intriguing; from listening you’re getting a “glimpse” into their musical “life.” Any type of media outlet is interesting to observe these days – people try to block out others with these devices, yet they’re still inviting you in with their loud music or book cover.

Listen to music and just think. Sometimes music has a way of getting to your deepest emotions and makes opening up to new experiences easier.  Perhaps lyric strikes a chord with you or a certain beat gives you confidence.  Music works in mysterious ways, so listen to whatever makes you escape, helps you get to the heart of a matter, or basically just relaxes you. Inspiration may be just around the corner from that melody that awaiting you.  Right now I am listening and enjoying Leela James, love her music & lyrics.  Cheers!

If you are looking for some help with making the transition from plain Jane in 2009 to style maven in 2010, here are five tips to help you revamp your wardrobe for 2010.

1) Out with the ill-fitting

Get rid of anything that no longer fits. Whether you lost a few pounds or outgrew a few of your clothes in 2009, there is no place for ill-fitting garments in your 2010 closet. Trash anything that is too big small, long or short. Make space for new, more flattering things.

2) Try new things

Get out of your 2010 style rut! Don’t let your clothes become a uniform. If you have been wearing the same things in the same way over and over this past year, shake things up in ‘10. Take risks and be bold.

3) Get inspired

If you find yourself admiring some one’s style, feel free to incorporate it into your own. Draw inspiration maybe from a well-known style icon or even a stylish person that you know personally.

4) Get tailored

The best way to take an average wardrobe and make it extraordinary is to become well acquainted with your local tailor. Normal off-the-rack garments can be made to look like custom creations with minor tweaks. Altering clothes to fit your body specifically will help you will transform your look in a great way.  This doesn’t have to be expensive start by exploring with your neighborhood drycleaners. 

5) Invest in a few statement pieces

Adding a few strong statement pieces to your wardrobe will help you to stand out more. While it is virtually impossible for the average person to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe every year, a few strong items will make you look and feel brand new. Invest in a fabulous pair of Louboutins, or even a classic pair of Prada or Gucci shoes.  Next stop a fabulous large leatherhandbag. Equip yourself with some classic, quality items that will last and build the rest of your wardrobe around them.  I truly find that accessories are the key to any wardrobe.

Only revamp in areas needed and based on a budget that you can afford.  It’s no fun having fabulous things with regrets.  Cheers to a new fabulous you. 

1. Define your goals:  “You have to know exactly what you’re going after in order to pursue your goal.
2. Believe in your ability: Loose feelings of regret and guilt, instead, take that energy and redirect it towards a positive outcome.  Keep in mind “all things are possible”.
3. Stay Positive: Don’t bash on you rather compliment yourself.  Re-adjusting your attitude to focus on the positives will inspire you to create experiences that allow you to believe in YOU!
4. Imagine your goal: Visualization allows you to get comfortable with the possibility of change.  If it’s the house you want: You should focus on what does it look like, what does feel like, etc.;
5. Get Educated:  If you need to gain knowledge and learn more about your goal or pursuit take time to gain the information required for you to be successful.  Remember, knowledge is power.
6. Don’t Fear Failure:  It is an integral part of success.  It is part of the process and a way to learn and grow wiser.
7. Get Feedback:  Don’t be afraid of receiving constructive criticism, as a matter of fact seek it out.  Look for someone who’s educated in the goal you’re trying to achieve.

 Don’t give up, stay focused and remember to surround yourself with positive people.  All the best!

Feeling the need to hang a “do not disturb” sign on the door?  If health and well-being are a priority on your to-do list, take an authorized timeout and temporarily dismiss your multitasking genie.

Call it mastering the art of doing nothing.  As demands in our personal and professional lives get more complex, it becomes more important to schedule time for doing absolutely nothing, even if just for a short period of time per day.

Start by finding a quiet space that filters out all distractions.  Choose a place where you can easily just be- and be more comfortable.  Next, breathe deeply and light a candle.  It is a simple technique that is critical to supplying the body and organs with oxygen while helping get rid of toxins.  Try prayer and meditation to de-stress in the middle of a hectic day.  At home, make use of the bathtub and set up a mini spa.  Drop in a fragrance bath bomb to enhance the experience (Lavendar is awesome).

Remember, doing absolutely “nothing” can make everything perfect.  And you will feel so “refreshed”.  Happy 4th of July.  Cheers.

Sometimes,  it’s easy to raise your own expectations about a situation just because it could possibly come true. I know I’m guilty of doing that – just when I like someone or I think life’s going well, something goes wrong because I put too much effort into thinking about it. This is very probable when it comes to friendship or dating, as first impressions can be deceiving. Either that or your nervousness puts a damper on what they thought of you and awkwardness ensued. It’s easy to put yourself into these situations without even realizing it. Being a shy person has its perks as you end up being the listener most of the time. However, when you’re asked a direct question (and you put too much thought into giving the “right” answer), it’s just as bad if you can’t find the words to say.

Awkwardness isn’t a bad thing – it can be endearing, for one thing. However, it’s not good to let yourself shut down and just mess up a situation just because you’re nervous. If the person you’re trying to form a relationship with really likes you, they won’t care if you say something silly or mess up a pronunciation. They’ll listen to you no matter what and like you for who you are. From personal experience, I’ve had to put behind me the times when I’ve messed up a possible connection just because I couldn’t think of anything to say and it just got weird. I embrace my personality, but sometimes, it’s hard not to freak out while talking to someone of interest or new in your life. When the inevitable “awkward silence” comes out, it’s best to find humor in the situation. Laugh a little. It catches on!

One huge tip I have for the nervous-talkers is: BE YOURSELF. Seriously, there’s not one situation that I regret being myself and just keeping it real. Even if some people aren’t receptive to you, they don’t matter in the long run. It’s the people who understand you and know where you’re coming from that are the best to put your time into. This might sound incredibly obvious, but sometimes the most obvious is the hardest to do. It’s taken me many years to realize that. Some people can be mean or not “get you,” but all of that negative energy is just not worth it.  Surround yourself with people who don’t question your uniqueness and accept you for you, awkward moments and all. In the long run, just keep clarity of the situation while being who you want to be, and your strong, independent self will thank you in the end.  Cheers!

Today, we take time to celebrate all fathers.  A Father should be recognized as a man of honor, a man of pride, a man of strength, a man of wisdom, a man of courage, a man of faith, a man that provides, a man of guidance & understanding. 

Today, for you celebrating father’s we salute you for all that you are, all that you mean to us, all that you do, and all of the love you give unconditionally.  May you continue to be blessed!  Cheers!

Not only do you not have to wear torn jeans, and a fedora to be considered stylish.  The point of fashion is to indulge briefly in something fun.  The point of style is to have one, and it should last you a lifetime.  All you have to do is think you deserve to look and feel your best and spend time figuring out how to do it.  Don’t know where to start, try finding a woman whose style you admire and ask for a little advice.  You must ultimately search within because style is who “you” are, and no one can beat you being you!  Cheers to you & style.