Strong women- that’s a common description for most of us.  Where does it come from and how do we keep our strength strong?  For me, it can be summed up in a passage from Exodus 15:2, “the Lord is my strength”.  I also draw strength from my family, friends, character and reputation.  People who know me believe that my word is bond.  The strength of your character and reputation allow people to believe in you. 

Sometimes, however, our strength falters.  We can unintentionally fall short, because of brain overload, multitasking, procrastination, or simply the highs and lows of life.  When your strength gets shaken, but not your faith, learn to lean of family and true friends and keep the faith and know that this too shall pass. Remember you are stronger than you think.

Find the strength to go for your dreams-no matter what anyone else thinks.  After all, it’s your life and you get only one shot.  You’re strong enough to live out your dreams for yourself, family and friends.  If you don’t think you’re as strong as you’d like to be, fake it till you make it, I believe you are stronger than you know.  Cheers.

When the spirit of spring takes hold, we find ourselves wanting to clear the clutter from every area of our lives. We don’t just long to dump the junk from our closets and dust the corners that were barely noticeable in the dark days of winter; we want to streamline our lives in more meaningful ways, too. Here are some tips on how to strengthen our existing friendships and cast off the ones that aren’t working anymore.

When we’re crazy busy but still want to maintain the friendships that we treasure, first thing’s first: how can we keep those relationships that we treasure going strong?

Consistency is key. Instead of the scheduling emails that can go back-and-forth for a week (“I can’t do Tuesday but are you free for Wednesday lunch? How ’bout two weeks from next Thursday?”), set one regular date and stick to it.

Get deep. Our friendships sustain us not when the conversation skims the surface of boyfriend updates and work woes, but when we feel like we’re connecting with someone in a meaningful way, being heard and understood. If you can’t talk about the meaning of life face-to-face without feeling like you’re in Philosophy 101, turn it into an email exchange… “Email each other a question to answer like what are three things you wish you had more of in your life, what is one of your favorite childhood memories, or what is one thing about your life that surprises you right now?”

What about those toxic friendships? You know the ones. Either you have a friend who has turned terminally negative, doesn’t support your dreams and endeavors, who frequently break plans or causes you more stress than joy. Sometimes a real friend can practically turn into a frenemy. How can we spring clean those relationships without guilt?

Let go quietly. It’s important, “to recognize that not all friendships are for life and its okay to not force something that isn’t there anymore.” Sometimes the make-up of our lives changes significantly and certain friendships don’t withstand the shift. If our friends are there, in part, “to enhance our current experiences in life,” sometimes life just changes the dynamics. In situations like these, you don’t need to risk burning a bridge. Generally the feeling will be mutual. Stop initiating plans together until you see each other less and less, and the friendship has phased out.

Give awkwardness a chance. Even the best relationships go through rocky periods, and it’s important to remember that a friendship can be strong and vital after conflict — perhaps even more so. “Our relationships are often ‘pseudo-community’ until we have some crisis or difficulty that can facilitate a deeper bond”. “It’s important not to simply walk away every time someone disappoints you.”

Have a conversation. If the friendship can’t be patched, either because you’ve been seriously wronged or you feel misunderstood, having a conversation — no matter how awkward —is better than a cold turkey end to a friendship. It gives each person the opportunity to say their piece and could potentially increase understanding on both sides. “Worst case scenario,” “it turns into a break-up talk but you know you tried. Best case scenario: you become better friends with valuable shared history saved.”  Cheers! 

A great majority of the women struggle with the same issue: lack of self-acceptance.

In fact, many women (me included) find it hard to love and appreciate themselves, harping on their various flaws rather than accentuating the positives. Are you guilty of this?

More than likely, the answer is yes. We’ve been taught to play up the bad and filter out the good in everything from our relationships to our careers. Sadly, this behavior extends to unfair judgment of peers, strangers, and most destructive of all, ourselves.

In order to begin developing genuine self-esteem, you must first learn to accept your whole self. The very essence of you… the good, the bad and the ugly. Again, we were trained to believe that self-acceptance is not possible until we reach perfection. Hopefully, we’re all in agreement that a nirvana state is not readily achievable.

As humans, we are always changing, growing and learning. There will always be things you dislike about yourself; behaviors you want to change, body parts you want to enlarge or shrink, etc. But despite these flaws, you must retrain your thinking and learn to love yourself anyway.

Acceptance is often confused with understanding. I’m in no way claiming that you need to understand why you do what you do, think what you think, or want or desire the things you do. Just as there are many things about this world you don’t understand (but you nonetheless accept), there are many things about yourself you’ll never understand — you’re a complex creature! Coming to terms with this is half the battle.

So how can you go about achieving self-acceptance? One activity is called the “Two-Sided Coin.” Simply draw a line down the center of a sheet of paper. In one column, list everything you love about yourself. In the other column, list the negatives. I’m willing to bet you’ll find it much easier to come up with bad characteristics, but please continue until each column is equal. If you have a difficult time coming up with positives, ask your family and friends for help.

Next, you’ll closely examine the list. You should come to notice that your negative characteristics couldn’t exist without the positives, and vice versa… just like the two sides of a coin. For example, on one hand you may list that you dislike your tendency to procrastinate. But, if you look at it from another angle, you may work better under pressure and actually produce better work. Go through your list of negatives and think up a positive for each.

In summary, please ladies, stop being so hard on yourselves! Everything you dislike about yourself has a positive counterpart. You’ll never be perfect, but that’s okay!

Happy Mother’s Day

A strong woman- is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.  Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter.

A strong woman-is both soft and powerful.  She is both practical and spiritual.

A strong woman-in her essence is a gift to the entire World.

Happy Mother’s Day- to a woman who shows what it takes to be one.

Happy Mother’s Day to you that are mothers, soon to be mothers or act like a mother!  Cheers.

Give up on perfection.  Remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint.  Some things will always be out of your control.  Learn to accept that, and focus on making the choices that will lead you towards your goal.  Stay focus and remember your target.  Cheers!