My Lessons

You’ll never come upon a mistake that doesn’t contain within it a lesson, so make sure tograsp hold of it. Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this  ‘failure’?” “What did I learn from this experience?”  How valuable is the lesson?

Think about how this lesson will benefit you in a month, year, or decade. Now sit quietly for a moment in a state of gratitude, giving thanks for the wisdom imparted upon you by what you call failure. From this state of gratitude, you emit a positive vibration that attracts your most wonderful desires. This is the perfect place to start again.  Remember the lesson so that you won’t have to visit the same situation again.  Cheers!

As I have grown older I often felt the need to write about my life and my life experiences.  This is what led me to launch Sistahology.com.  As I have grown older I not only write about the happenings of the day, but I also explore the happenings in my life.  We all go through something and I have often found myself noting in real time what I am going through on a daily basis the highs and the lows, the pretty & ugly.  It’s my life I have to own my experiences.  Despite the need, it wasn’t until I created Sistahology.com (a private website to journal) that I felt my private thoughts were protected and safe.  I journal as much as I can it’s a life ritualfor me.

We may not always be comfortable sharing our deepest feelings with others but we’d better know what they are.  If we aren’t open to our own deepest truths, how will we know what we are seeking?  One of the first steps towards wholeness is telling the truth to yourself, opening your heart to yourself so that you gain clarity about what is true for you.  Writing from your heart helps you discover the depth of your soul.

Sharing our intimacies is not only healing to us, but helpsothers as well to understand that we need not be victims of the past. We should just preserve for ourselves our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, however they flow.  The ritual of writing, journaling, isn’t about spelling or grammar it’s about liberation and healing.  It grounds us in our own wisdom and clarity that emerge when we open our hearts and put a pen on us and the disguises we wear.  We resolve the issues in our past and discover our truth.  Once truth is revealed we are able to move forward and live.

As we document our lives, we begin to see patterns and connections, and develop an awareness of the things that cause us pain and suffering and those that increase our joy and happiness.  In time we become more aware of how the choices we make create our experiences, why we were happy and hopeful in April and down in the dumps in May.  Writing about our lives encourages us to be conscious of the journey and to see the distance we have traveled.   Cheers!

A sistah keeps it real (100) and she is very authentic to who she is. She as hat natural sistah-girl swagger, but by no means is she ever inappropriate.   She is a force to be reckoned with.  I encourage sistah’s not to change any of these attributes because it was born from centuries of strength, resilience and confidence.  It was necessary to survive the oppression of the world and still raise families, work and live.  It’s our DNA.  You are fly effortlessly.

There are times when people try to strip real sistah’s of that thing that distinguishes us and makes us special.  There is nothing wrong with you, you are strength, you are inspiration, you are love, just the way you are.  So, the next time someone suggest that you are broken, just remember that your essence is wonderful, and by all means please don’t lose your swagga, sistah!

 Dr. MayaAngelou states it best in her poem, “Phenomenal Woman.”

It’s the fire in my eyes

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And, the joy in my feet,

I’m a woman.

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal Woman.

That’s me.

Cheers!

Learning to trust your instincts using your intuitive sense of what’s best for you is huge for any lasting success.  I’ve trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life.  And the only time I’ve made mistakes is when I have not listened.

It’s really more of a feeling than a voice.  The voice is humbling and it moves me to the core of my being.  We all have it.  We’re the only creatures on earth that denyand ignore it.

How many times have you gone against your gut, only to find yourself at odds with the natural flow of things? We all get caught up in the business of doing and sometimes lose our place in the flow.  But the more we can tune in to our intuition, the better off we are.  I believe its how God speaks to me, and perhaps how your higher power speaks to you.

For all the major moves and decisions in my life I’ve trusted God and my instincts.  I take in all the information I can gather.  I listen to proposals, ideas, and advice.  Then I go with my gut, what my heart feels most strongly.  I often share with others:  When you don’t know what to do, it’s simply okay to do absolutely nothing.  That’s the time to get quiet so you can hear the still small voice, you’re in personal GPS.

Cheers to trusting your instincts!

As we embrace a new year, where do you see yourself a year from now?  Five years from now?  Where do you want to be and how would you like to be living and loving?  If no clear image comes to mind, don’t panic yet.  Get busy finding the answers.  It’s your life!

It’s been said so many ways:  “Without vision, the people perish.”  “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”  If you don’t know where you’re going, any road can and will take you there.

Naturally sometimes things have a tendency to fall apart.  But if we can embrace a positive vision and pair it with our own creative effort, organization and commitment, we can avoid slipping into chaos.

Whatever you want out of life you must first envision.  See it clearly.  Name it.  Claim it, then make detailed plans to bring it to fruition.  Dreams precede reality.  There is no human invention that was not first a vision, an image in the mind, a thought, a concept, a word.  I am a living witness to this as I made “Sistahology” a reality.

What we focus on increases in our lives.  Our thoughts and words have creative power, giving form to formless energy all around us.  When we think or speak negatively about ourselves, our body, our talents and intellect, we create the conditions to bring it to fruition.

Remember living ain’t easy!  Each day we must make a conscious effort not to see ourselves in a mirror distorted by racism, sexism, ageism, or our
painful life experiences.  Those forces will only have us deny ourselves and our power.  See the full beauty of who you are:  We are more than simply survivors.  We are thrivers, powerful and capable women born for this precious hour, minute, second.  Cheers!

During this time of year, many of us spend our days counting down to the end of the year with a myriad of thoughts about what “could have been.” You know how it goes: the blaring reminders on TV, radio, and even at holiday parties that you’re single, couldn’t afford the best gifts or the pricey plane tickets to fly across country to be with family.

What I’ve learned over the years is that no matter who is not there, what money we may not have, or how far away our families may be, there’s something bigger that we can always rely on to give us the love we all desire.

There are many clichés about the holidays and the “real reason for the season,” but in its truest essence, God’s greatest gift to us is the unconditional love that remains available every day of the year. God’s love for us is real, tangible, and everywhere we go. He tells us in Romans 8:37-39:

Yet amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us. For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  How great His love is for us! It surpasses all heartbreak and deficits that we have encountered throughout the year.

A shift in perspective keeps the most perfect love of all at the forefront and teaches us to lean on the blessings we have. Enjoy the holidays and feel the
love from the one who sacrificed the most for us!  All the best to you in the New Year!  Cheers.

During this time of year, many of us spend our days counting down to the end of the year with a myriad of thoughts about what “could have been.” You know how it goes: the blaring reminders on TV, radio, and even at holiday parties that you’re single, couldn’t afford the best gifts or the pricey plane tickets to fly across country to be with family.

What I’ve learned over the years is that no matter who is not there, what money we may not have, or how far away our families may be, there’s something bigger that we can always rely on to give us the love we all desire.

There are many clichés about the holidays and the “real reason for the season,” but in its truest essence, God’s greatest gift to us is the unconditional love that remains available every day of the year. God’s love for us is real, tangible, and  everywhere we go. He tells us in Romans 8:37-39:

Yet amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us.  For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  How great His love is for us! It surpasses all heartbreak and deficits that we have encountered throughout the year.

Don’t have that special someone to shower with love and gifts? Consider showing love to those in need who aren’t as fortunate as you.  Money is tight and can’t give gifts? Bake some cookies or other sweets, bag them up, and share with friends and family!  Can’t get home for the holidays?  Use Skype to see the bright and shining faces of those you love!

A shift in perspective keeps the most perfect love of all at the forefront and teaches us to lean on the blessings we have. Enjoy the holidays and feel the love from the one who sacrificed the most for us!  Cheers.

Everyday should be a day where we pause to give thanks and enjoy the gift of giving,nhanging out with family, and our friends.  During this season of giving thanks and giving to love ones, I wanted to take another moment to share some of the things I am most thankful for.  I realize the reason for the season is not about what gift I can give and Santa but the birth of “my” savior.  I never want to lose sight of that because I realize that everything I have belongs to him and that I am nothing without him.  For that I am SO grateful!

1. Family/friends

I am very thankful to share the holiday season with my husband and our children, my dear mother and sister and of course my nephew and only niece.  This year despite wanting to spend the Christmas holiday someplace warm we have
decided to stay put and take a New Year’s get-a-way if schedules allow. Needless to say I will enjoy this year’s season shopping, eating and catching up with my closet friend and sharing love. I am naturally a giver but I am very glad that
I realize that all gifts don’t cost money such as love, grace & mercy!  I would take those three things over anything money can buy, how about you?

2. Health

Sometimes I play superwoman, against my better judgment.  I don’t always get as much rest as I should, and the inability to slow down has left me super-sick several times.  Last year was filled with many challenges, personal growth, and major life changing decisions, time to sit still and heal in many areas of my life. I am so glad I was blessed to take time to take care of “ME” realizing that if I am un-healthy I am no good to anyone.  I now embrace good health, exercise, healthy eating habits and beauty that is within.

3. Accomplishments

Like many I get so caught up on focusing on what I want to do and haven’t done yet, I forget about all the things that I have. This month as I sat with the vision board and list of resolutions I created earlier this year and circled all the things I had actually done.  I am blessed to have a published book (Sistership) that has been available for over 6 years and doing well, a website (Sistahology.com) doing very good!  I had an opportunity to work on the political front this year and have an impact and bring awareness to issues in the community in which I live.  Turns out, I’m farther along than I thought.  You probably are too!

4. Failures

No one lives a life where “All they do is win”.  We all have ups, and yes, unfortunately downs.  We usually beat ourselves up over them, but there’s another way to look at it.  Failure could be an opportunity to learn a lesson, build our character and try again.   You’re only failing when you fall down and stay down. These are words of wisdom and I
live by these values daily.

5. Self-esteem

I’m a listening ear for lots of people who are trying to work through dilemmas in their personal lives.  The root cause
of so many of them is hurt.  People who build their confidence hurting others, and people who don’t have the confidence to walk away when they encounter the former.  I didn’t always know when to say when, set standards, or identify flags early on.   Now that I can, I’m living a much better life, and very thankful for it.

What are you most thankful for?  What non-monetary gift are you giving during the holiday season?  Cheers

Every crisis is temporary.  No matter what the challenge, God is the answer, No matter what the need, God is the fulfillment.  I promise myself to always remember this, he hasn’t failed me yet!

As I look forward to another birthday, I have grown in so many ways.  I have enjoyed some time off from my daily routine a time to sit still and breathe and deal with matter’s of the heart.  What a blessing that was for me at this stage in my life.

One of the joys of getting older is gaining wisdom and confidence.  I promise myself to be accountable and responsible for who I am and all that I still want to become. I know that no matter how much I grow and accomplish there is always work to be done, and I am not perfect.

I realize life is good everyday that I am blessed to wake up and embrace it!  For that I am so grateful.  Cheers!

Your perception of who you are has a great influence on your emotional and spiritual well-being.  Research shows that we tend to act in harmony with what we perceive ourselves to be.  This simply means you’re not going to liveany better that you believe.  This is why it’s critical to possess a strong sense of self so that you’ll see yourself as empowered and able to be in charge of every area of your life.

Make room for the things you desire and want to achieve.  By preparing yourself and, if necessary, be fearless about taking a path that has been less traveled to achieve.  Don’t let anything stand in your way or compromise the quality of your life and those experiences you what to know.  All things are possible.

Cheers!