You’ll never come upon a mistake that doesn’t contain within it a lesson, so make sure to grasp hold of it.  Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this ‘failure’?” “What did I learn from this experience?”  How valuable is the lesson?

Think about how this lesson will benefit you in a month, year, or decade ahead. Now sit quietly for a moment in a state of gratitude, giving thanks for the wisdom imparted upon you by what you call failure.  From this state of gratitude, you emit a positive vibration that attracts your most wonderful desires.  This is the perfect place to start again.  Remember the lesson so that you won’t have to visit the same situation again.  Cheers!

Lately, I have been pondering the idea of failure and considering that maybe there really is no such thing. What we perceive as a failure may simply be our inner being’s way of telling us that we are ready to move to a new level of growth.

No matter how well we think we know ourselves, we all have blind spots. And we all have an inner being that connects with something much wiser than ourselves, that sees the larger picture of our journey toward wisdom and wholeness.  All too often, when we rely only on our conscious mind, we resist or overlook opportunities to grow. So our spirit has to get our attention. Failures are a very efficient way of doing just that. Cheers to a better place!

As we embark on a new year, so many of us make resolutions to lose weight, stop smoking, go to church, stick to a budget, and the annual list goes on. A few years ago, I decided I was no longer going to make resolutions each new-year and instead develop mantras that I would focus on living my life throughout the year. Last year, one such mantra was to find joy and happiness in every situation good or bad.

Last year I didn’t know it then, but I couldn’t have picked a better mantra for 2011 because I surely encountered some of difficult situations. To put it lightly, 2011 was interesting. Needless to say, I was happy to usher in a new year and optimistic about the possibilities. More importantly, I learned a valuable lesson that there is joy in every situation and I’m in control of it.

“Happiness is a choice, not a gift!” By going to gratitude and focusing on the things that were good in my life I was able to tackle the crazy stuff with a smile. Sure, I didn’t like it, but wasn’t it enough that I had to deal with it? I refused to let mere temporary situations affect my overall happiness. So, I often found myself saying, ‘it is what is.’ And, once I stopped going against the flow of the universe I was able to accept the situation, try to move passed it and still stay happy.

“So, what?!”  Stuff happens, but you have to make the choice to focus on the bad parts. You have to make the choice to be miserable. You have to make the choice not to accept it for what it was, deal with it and move on.” I am not diminishing the severity of anyone’s issues. Instead, I am encouraging the power of your spirit to guide you to make the choice to find joy in life in spite of any issues that you may encounter in this thing called life.  You have to make the choice!

We create our own reality into existence. If we say we’re miserable and focus on the bad then, we’re miserable. Conversely, if we focus on the good in our life and proclaim joy then, we become that too. So, my hope is that as you begin a new year that you go to gratitude in all situations, especially the bad ones, and remember that happiness is yours.  And you have to want it, receive it and embrace it!

This year mantra for me is “Living well in 2012”.  So far I am doing just that, as God planned for my life.  Cheers!

My friend, you are alive and awake today. What will you do with such an amazing gift?  You can take it for granted, convinced that you’ll get another and another and another. Or you can give yourself a reason to celebrate life right now.

Before you waste a single moment hanging your head and griping about work, traffic or a fight with your spouse or kids; open yourself to these inspirational thoughts.  Happiness is ALWAYS, even on a “bad” day, within your grasp. But it won’t chase you down. To experience happiness in life, you must choose happiness day after day after day.  There’s no better time to start than the present moment.

Stop whatever you are doing or thinking and take a moment to get happy about something right now. Flowers, lakes, beaches, trees; love; a recent or upcoming vacation; friends; a warm embrace or a positive affirmation; the sun’s infinite rays or the smile of someone you love.

Wake up and realize that each and every one of us is an extension of a beautiful, magnificent, amazing source. We are more significant to this Universe than any physical attribute may portray.

If you look in the mirror and you don’t see someone worthy of love, look again. Remind yourself that the precious Soul that was within you as an infant is still there. Nothing that happens (or doesn’t happen) in the physical determines your value.

You are not your nose size, body shape, or job title. You don’t have to be the smartest, richest or prettiest to be worthy of love.

Love yourself now. You don’t need to be the most famous or the best dressed in order to have value.  Please don’t take today for granted and remember tomorrow is not promised.  I am so thankful to day!

Value yourself now. You were born with great value. You are a child of a higher power!

My Lessons

You’ll never come upon a mistake that doesn’t contain within it a lesson, so make sure tograsp hold of it. Ask yourself, “What did I learn from this  ‘failure’?” “What did I learn from this experience?”  How valuable is the lesson?

Think about how this lesson will benefit you in a month, year, or decade. Now sit quietly for a moment in a state of gratitude, giving thanks for the wisdom imparted upon you by what you call failure. From this state of gratitude, you emit a positive vibration that attracts your most wonderful desires. This is the perfect place to start again.  Remember the lesson so that you won’t have to visit the same situation again.  Cheers!

As I have grown older I often felt the need to write about my life and my life experiences.  This is what led me to launch Sistahology.com.  As I have grown older I not only write about the happenings of the day, but I also explore the happenings in my life.  We all go through something and I have often found myself noting in real time what I am going through on a daily basis the highs and the lows, the pretty & ugly.  It’s my life I have to own my experiences.  Despite the need, it wasn’t until I created Sistahology.com (a private website to journal) that I felt my private thoughts were protected and safe.  I journal as much as I can it’s a life ritualfor me.

We may not always be comfortable sharing our deepest feelings with others but we’d better know what they are.  If we aren’t open to our own deepest truths, how will we know what we are seeking?  One of the first steps towards wholeness is telling the truth to yourself, opening your heart to yourself so that you gain clarity about what is true for you.  Writing from your heart helps you discover the depth of your soul.

Sharing our intimacies is not only healing to us, but helpsothers as well to understand that we need not be victims of the past. We should just preserve for ourselves our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, however they flow.  The ritual of writing, journaling, isn’t about spelling or grammar it’s about liberation and healing.  It grounds us in our own wisdom and clarity that emerge when we open our hearts and put a pen on us and the disguises we wear.  We resolve the issues in our past and discover our truth.  Once truth is revealed we are able to move forward and live.

As we document our lives, we begin to see patterns and connections, and develop an awareness of the things that cause us pain and suffering and those that increase our joy and happiness.  In time we become more aware of how the choices we make create our experiences, why we were happy and hopeful in April and down in the dumps in May.  Writing about our lives encourages us to be conscious of the journey and to see the distance we have traveled.   Cheers!

A sistah keeps it real (100) and she is very authentic to who she is. She as hat natural sistah-girl swagger, but by no means is she ever inappropriate.   She is a force to be reckoned with.  I encourage sistah’s not to change any of these attributes because it was born from centuries of strength, resilience and confidence.  It was necessary to survive the oppression of the world and still raise families, work and live.  It’s our DNA.  You are fly effortlessly.

There are times when people try to strip real sistah’s of that thing that distinguishes us and makes us special.  There is nothing wrong with you, you are strength, you are inspiration, you are love, just the way you are.  So, the next time someone suggest that you are broken, just remember that your essence is wonderful, and by all means please don’t lose your swagga, sistah!

 Dr. MayaAngelou states it best in her poem, “Phenomenal Woman.”

It’s the fire in my eyes

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And, the joy in my feet,

I’m a woman.

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal Woman.

That’s me.

Cheers!

Learning to trust your instincts using your intuitive sense of what’s best for you is huge for any lasting success.  I’ve trusted the still, small voice of intuition my entire life.  And the only time I’ve made mistakes is when I have not listened.

It’s really more of a feeling than a voice.  The voice is humbling and it moves me to the core of my being.  We all have it.  We’re the only creatures on earth that denyand ignore it.

How many times have you gone against your gut, only to find yourself at odds with the natural flow of things? We all get caught up in the business of doing and sometimes lose our place in the flow.  But the more we can tune in to our intuition, the better off we are.  I believe its how God speaks to me, and perhaps how your higher power speaks to you.

For all the major moves and decisions in my life I’ve trusted God and my instincts.  I take in all the information I can gather.  I listen to proposals, ideas, and advice.  Then I go with my gut, what my heart feels most strongly.  I often share with others:  When you don’t know what to do, it’s simply okay to do absolutely nothing.  That’s the time to get quiet so you can hear the still small voice, you’re in personal GPS.

Cheers to trusting your instincts!

As we embrace a new year, where do you see yourself a year from now?  Five years from now?  Where do you want to be and how would you like to be living and loving?  If no clear image comes to mind, don’t panic yet.  Get busy finding the answers.  It’s your life!

It’s been said so many ways:  “Without vision, the people perish.”  “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”  If you don’t know where you’re going, any road can and will take you there.

Naturally sometimes things have a tendency to fall apart.  But if we can embrace a positive vision and pair it with our own creative effort, organization and commitment, we can avoid slipping into chaos.

Whatever you want out of life you must first envision.  See it clearly.  Name it.  Claim it, then make detailed plans to bring it to fruition.  Dreams precede reality.  There is no human invention that was not first a vision, an image in the mind, a thought, a concept, a word.  I am a living witness to this as I made “Sistahology” a reality.

What we focus on increases in our lives.  Our thoughts and words have creative power, giving form to formless energy all around us.  When we think or speak negatively about ourselves, our body, our talents and intellect, we create the conditions to bring it to fruition.

Remember living ain’t easy!  Each day we must make a conscious effort not to see ourselves in a mirror distorted by racism, sexism, ageism, or our
painful life experiences.  Those forces will only have us deny ourselves and our power.  See the full beauty of who you are:  We are more than simply survivors.  We are thrivers, powerful and capable women born for this precious hour, minute, second.  Cheers!

During this time of year, many of us spend our days counting down to the end of the year with a myriad of thoughts about what “could have been.” You know how it goes: the blaring reminders on TV, radio, and even at holiday parties that you’re single, couldn’t afford the best gifts or the pricey plane tickets to fly across country to be with family.

What I’ve learned over the years is that no matter who is not there, what money we may not have, or how far away our families may be, there’s something bigger that we can always rely on to give us the love we all desire.

There are many clichés about the holidays and the “real reason for the season,” but in its truest essence, God’s greatest gift to us is the unconditional love that remains available every day of the year. God’s love for us is real, tangible, and everywhere we go. He tells us in Romans 8:37-39:

Yet amid all these things, we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us. For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  How great His love is for us! It surpasses all heartbreak and deficits that we have encountered throughout the year.

A shift in perspective keeps the most perfect love of all at the forefront and teaches us to lean on the blessings we have. Enjoy the holidays and feel the
love from the one who sacrificed the most for us!  All the best to you in the New Year!  Cheers.