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Are you a priority or an option?

Don’t make someone a priority who makes you an option.

This time, take a pass to the front of the line. Make yourself #1 for a change. Whenever you say “yes” to someone else, you automatically say “no” to yourself. Practice the skills of actively creating what you want, protecting what you value and acting decisively to change what is not working in your life.

Today, say “Yes” to your own needs, growth, knowledge, and to your dream. Make it non-negotiable to work on your own dream every single day. This doesn’t mean that you are selfish, or insensitive to the people around you, or the other responsibilities in your life. And don’t be a dream-killer!

Learning to say “No” to others and “Yes” to you, allows you to excel by setting appropriate boundaries on your time, energy and resources. Give yourself a real gift – the freedom to be who you really are and do what you were meant to do in the world.  Cheers!

Are you one of those people who is always there when somebody needs you? Everybody calls on you. Everybody needs you. You are, after all, strong enough, smart enough, tough enough to make it through anything and everything with God by your side.

Well, who do the strong go to? The strong have needs. The strong have weaknesses! The strong need someone too.  Take the time for you to do the same things for yourself as you do for others.

Depending on anyone to make you happy, make you feel good or lift your spirit is a sure way to place yourself in isolation. When your joy is dependent on people and conditions, it is restricted.  Live your life without restrictions.  Love & take care of YOU! Cheers!

Do not be a constant complainer. It doesn’t help you and it certainly doesn’t help your relationships. If you do not like your current situation, work towards changing it, but don’t just sit around complaining about it. Complaining will only make others nearby not want to be around you. Be someone that looks at the positive aspects of situations. And if you do find a problem that needs to be addressed, be someone that suggests a solution. The bottom line is that you will never get to where you want to be by complaining about where you are now. Each step in your life is preparing you for the one that comes after it.  Stay focused on the good.  The best is yet to come!

Cheers!

Phenomenal Woman

By Maya Angelou (RIP)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I’m telling lies.

I say,

It’s in the reach of my arms,

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It’s the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them,

They say they still can’t see.

I say,

It’s in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Now you understand

Just why my head’s not bowed.

I don’t shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing,

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It’s in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need for my care.

’Cause I’m a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That’s me.

Happy Mother’s Day!

When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed them, and forced them to grow. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours. We meet no ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer. So appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.  Cheers!

Get a life…Stop making excuses for the way your life is now. Don’t dwell on the past, or on what has happened to you. Life happens to everyone. Stop telling everyone the same old story – 90% don’t care and 10% are glad it’s you. Get a life! You have more going for you than you realize…so use it!

Create some positive things for yourself today. Believe that you can dream again; create once more; achieve another goal; laugh out loud; and connect with life on a deeper level than you have ever done before. Life is waiting for you to explore it. Live full…Enjoy Life, you only get one! Cheers!

We must do more than think pink this October.  The statistics can be very disheartening, while Black women are less likely to get breast cancer; they’re more likely to die from it. Obesity is the second leading contributing factor after tobacco. Some studies showed that women of 40 don’t even remember when their last mammogram was.  Some experts are now recommending women have their first mammogram before 40 and possibly as early as 33 this according to a recent study published in the Journal of American College of Surgeons. To find a center near you please visit Cancer.org.  If you haven’t schedule your first or next mammogram please take time to do so. 

Some small things that will help you stay healthy; walking one to two hours weekly cuts your breast cancer risk by 18 to 20 percent.  Eating smart, research shows that that the greater variety of fruits and vegetables you eat, the more phytonutrients you consume.  Remember to do monthly breast exams, for more information on this please visit ww5.komen.org.  For more information regarding Breast Cancer please visit www.BCRFCURE.ORG.

Cheers to staying healthy!

One of the most toxic behaviors – cruelty – stems from a total lack of empathy, concern or compassion for others. We see it every day online and in the media – people being devastatingly unkind and hurtful to others just because they can.  They tear people down online in a cowardly way, using their anonymity as a shield.  Cruelty, backstabbing, and hurting others for any reason is toxic, and it hurts you as well. If you find yourself backstabbing and tearing someone else down, stop in your tracks.  Dig deep and find compassion in your heart, and realize that we’re all in this together.

It’s never too late to live a life that makes you proud. If you don’t learn anything else from this post, learn that. We get one shot at this. There’s no age limit on changing your course, and to settle in and be stuck in a life that isn’t authentic is a tragic waste. Honestly, it’s never too late or too early to be who you are capable of being. There’s no time limit – you can simply start and stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. You can make the best or the worst of it. It’s up to you, so make the best of it. Do things that startle you. Feel things you’ve never felt before. Spend time with people who help you grow. Live a life you’re proud of. And if you find that you’re not, have the courage to make a change.  Cheers!

Mentally strong people know the opposite of defeat is not courage; the opposite of defeat is hope. And there’s always hope. When you lose something good, don’t think of it as a loss, but as an experience that gets you back on the path you were meant to travel. Ultimately, the measure of who you are is what you do with what you have at any given point in time. It’s important to remember that you have enough, and you are enough, always. Stay strong. Think clearly. Even when it feels like things are falling apart, they aren’t.

Sometimes everything in life has to come to an end. It’s important to acknowledge and accept the end of an era – to walk away sensibly when something has reached its conclusion.

Closing the door, turning the page, moving on, etc. It doesn’t matter what you call it; what matters is that you leave the past where it belongs so you can enjoy the life that’s still available to be lived. This ending is not THE END, it’s just your life beginning again in a new way. It’s a point in your story where one chapter fades into the next.

Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren’t inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself for the sake of someone else. You have to make your well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful — you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.  Cheers!