sistahology.com

As women it’s in our nature to give, nurture and protect yet, do we offer ourselves the same in return.  If we do, it’s usually out of being worn-to-the core of our being.  Make a promise to take care of “YOU” today without any guilt.

Let’s keep it real it’s not marriage, motherhood or our careers wearing many of us down, it’s our choices.  When was the last time you really felt rested?  Not, just because you woke up this morning, but rejuvenated?  Even with all that we do as wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, it’s what we’re not doing that’s got us beat up and worn down.  But, suppose the old saying is true, that a woman is no good to anyone if not good to herself first?  I strongly believe this.

As we have entered the fall season, make a commitment to rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit.  Make a renewal plan for yourself, especially as we get ready to enter the holiday seasons, try not to overload yourself with commitments you can’t keep or that zap all your energy.  It’s okay to say no, and be good to yourself!  Cheers.

As we enter the last quarter of 2010 most people will begin to set end of the year goals and a new year’s resolution. I challenge you to choose to purse and live your dream. Open your mind to the possibilities that are ahead of you. Make a conscientious choice that you are going to live everyday of your life to the fullest.

Recently our pastor posed the following questions to the congregation. I think they are very timely and appropriate for this challenge.  Answer these questions as if they were a reflection of your true heart’s desire for your life.

DARE TO DREAM

• What are the five things you value most in life?

• In thirty seconds or less, write down the three most important goals in your life right now.

• What would you do if you hit the lottery and won a million dollars tax free tomorrow?

• If you only had six months to live, how would you spend your time?

• What have you always wanted to do, but were just afraid to try?

• Looking back over your life, what type of activities gives you the greatest sense of importance and mental wellbeing?

• Imagine if you were granted one wish that you can achieve, what would it be?

After answering these questions, can you honestly say that your current goals and activities mirror your true desires?  Why or why not?  I challenge you to make the necessary life changes that will allow you to live your dream and enjoy your life.  Cheers!

In our already complex lives getting out of a stuck place isn’t as swift as we think.  Life, unlike something’s won’t always give us obvious indicators that it’s in need of help.  You are just at a standstill.

Identifying that we’re in a rut takes self-reflection time that may not be built into the tight schedules many of us balance.  “So the routine of just getting by can quickly and quietly become second nature.  Most women fall into ruts because we embrace more than we probably should be taking on.  So when we get overwhelmed, we find ourselves trying to do whatever’s easiest and move in the direction that causes us to develop bad habits.”  Our daily routine of commuting to work, coming home, cooking dinner, and just going to bed just to do it all over again the next day may seem harmless.  But, in actuality, it traps us into joyless existences with lack of purpose and passion.

Ask yourself:

Is this what you thought your life would be like?  What would your life be like without your regular routine? Understand it’s your life and you can choose how you want to experience it.

Meditate on what caused you to get in the rut in the first place and then find out what’s causing you to stay stuck.  “There’s a familiar saying: What you resist will persist”.  Deal with the issues that have kept you in a stale, unsatisfying and predictable life, and affirm that you will no longer miss out on enjoying it.  Only you can say when enough is enough of the same old-same old.  Try journaling a list of things you want to add or subtract from your life.  Establish little changes to get immediate results so you can feel and see you’re moving forward.  We get into ruts based on how we think about things.  We keep speaking and thinking those things, and our actions are manifested in that way.  When you find yourself falling back into old habits ask yourself why you’re doing it.  That thoughtful moment will enable you to make an alternate choice. 

Starting a new routine is rarely easy.  But after some time, operating from a stuck place isn’t so effortless, either.  It can take a while to dig into a rut, so expecting and overnight turnaround out of the rut is a setup for disappointment.  Being active in the process of change and recognizing that a new day is another opportunity to make it happen is better than beating yourself up for not accomplishing the goals you set the day before.  Stay focused and you will be free……  Cheers!

Sometimes, it’s easy to raise your own expectations about a situation just because it could possibly come true. I know I’m guilty of doing that – just when I like someone or I think life’s going well, something goes wrong because I put too much effort into thinking about it. This is very probable when it comes to friendship or dating, as first impressions can be deceiving. Either that or your nervousness puts a damper on what they thought of you and awkwardness ensued. It’s easy to put yourself into these situations without even realizing it. Being a shy person has its perks as you end up being the listener most of the time. However, when you’re asked a direct question (and you put too much thought into giving the “right” answer), it’s just as bad if you can’t find the words to say.

Awkwardness isn’t a bad thing – it can be endearing, for one thing. However, it’s not good to let yourself shut down and just mess up a situation just because you’re nervous. If the person you’re trying to form a relationship with really likes you, they won’t care if you say something silly or mess up a pronunciation. They’ll listen to you no matter what and like you for who you are. From personal experience, I’ve had to put behind me the times when I’ve messed up a possible connection just because I couldn’t think of anything to say and it just got weird. I embrace my personality, but sometimes, it’s hard not to freak out while talking to someone of interest or new in your life. When the inevitable “awkward silence” comes out, it’s best to find humor in the situation. Laugh a little. It catches on!

One huge tip I have for the nervous-talkers is: BE YOURSELF. Seriously, there’s not one situation that I regret being myself and just keeping it real. Even if some people aren’t receptive to you, they don’t matter in the long run. It’s the people who understand you and know where you’re coming from that are the best to put your time into. This might sound incredibly obvious, but sometimes the most obvious is the hardest to do. It’s taken me many years to realize that. Some people can be mean or not “get you,” but all of that negative energy is just not worth it. Surround yourself with people who don’t question your uniqueness and accept you for you, awkward moments and all. In the long run, just keep clarity of the situation while being who you want to be, and your strong, independent self will thank you in the end. Cheers!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and according to BlackDoctor.org “African-American females experience higher death rates from breast cancer than any other racial or ethnic group.” This is partially due to African-American women tending to have more aggressive tumors. The fact is not meant to scare you, but it is meant as a wake-up call.

Educate yourself and women you know on risk factors, discover ways to reduce the risk of breast cancer, learn how to give yourself a breast exam, and help to fight breast cancer. And remember, if you are over 40 years of age, it is important to schedule an annual mammogram.

Below is your own personal mini guide to help you get started on your breast cancer awareness.

Risk Factors:

Family history
Early puberty (before 12 years old) or Late menopause (after 55 years old)
Not having children or Having children after 30 years old
Obesity and high-fat diets
2 to 5 alcoholic drinks daily

Reduce the Risk:

Exercise or Being physically active
Eat Soy, Broccoli, Red Apples, Red Cabbage or Red Grapes
Drink green tea
Regular screening tests
Avoid hormone replacement therapy if possible

Self Examination (from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc):

Breast cancer self-examinations should be done monthly at the same time of the month, and right after your period ends.

In the Shower
Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine the left breast, left hand for the right breast. Check for any lump, hard knot, or thickening. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.

Before a Mirror
Inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour of each breast, a swelling, a dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Then rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women’s breasts do.

Lying Down
Place a pillow under your right shoulder and put your right arm behind your head. With the fingers of your left hand flat, press your right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Fight Breast Cancer:

Donate, fundraise and/or volunteer. You can also shop at selected stores where the proceeds are donated to the fight. Check out these sites for various ways on how you can help them fight breast cancer.

National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.
Susan G. Kormen for the Cure
AVON Walk for Breast Cancer
save the ta tas
The National Marathon to finish Breast Cancer
Sephora’s “Beauty with a Cause”
Yoplait’s Save Lids to Save Lives
Clinique’s World Pink
The Estée Lauder Companies’ “World Pink. World Without Breast Cancer.”

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and according to BlackDoctor.org “African-American females experience higher death rates from breast cancer than any other racial or ethnic group.” This is partially due to African-American women tending to have more aggressive tumors. The fact is not meant to scare you, but it is meant as a wake-up call.

Educate yourself and women you know on risk factors, discover ways to reduce the risk of breast cancer, learn how to give yourself a breast exam, and help to fight breast cancer. And remember, if you are over 40 years of age, it is important to schedule an annual mammogram.

Below is your own personal mini guide to help you get started on your breast cancer awareness.

Risk Factors:

Family history
Early puberty (before 12 years old) or Late menopause (after 55 years old)
Not having children or Having children after 30 years old
Obesity and high-fat diets
2 to 5 alcoholic drinks daily

Reduce the Risk:

Exercise or Being physically active
Eat Soy, Broccoli, Red Apples, Red Cabbage or Red Grapes
Drink green tea
Regular screening tests
Avoid hormone replacement therapy if possible

Self Examination (from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc):

Breast cancer self-examinations should be done monthly at the same time of the month, and right after your period ends.

In the Shower
Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine the left breast, left hand for the right breast. Check for any lump, hard knot, or thickening. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.

Before a Mirror
Inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour of each breast, a swelling, a dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Then rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women’s breasts do.

Lying Down
Place a pillow under your right shoulder and put your right arm behind your head. With the fingers of your left hand flat, press your right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Fight Breast Cancer:

Donate, fundraise and/or volunteer. You can also shop at selected stores where the proceeds are donated to the fight. Check out these sites for various ways on how you can help them fight breast cancer.

National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.
Susan G. Kormen for the Cure
AVON Walk for Breast Cancer
save the ta tas
The National Marathon to finish Breast Cancer
Sephora’s “Beauty with a Cause”
Yoplait’s Save Lids to Save Lives
Clinique’s World Pink
The Estée Lauder Companies’ “World Pink. World Without Breast Cancer.”