sistahology.com

We all have them. We all must negotiate and navigate through them. We have to tackle them and more importantly…we experience them multiple times throughout our lives. What does all this mean? It means that it will always have to be dealt with: the transitioning phase. Whether it be going to college, getting a new job, moving to a new place, ending or deepening a relationship with a significant other, or finding a new way of thinking, it can be a painful (but necessary) growing process.

Currently, my life is in a complete re-shifting of what I knew before. I am trying to land a new opportunity in another State. I have so many things I want to accomplish but at times I find myself surrounded by negative people and negative situations. I am growing and people around me are still entertaining people and situation from 10 years ago. I must move on.

It’s also been a time of enormous creativity and finding an inner strength beyond human understanding. So this pays respects to the perseverance of our spirits during our times of struggle, need, and transition. We cry our tears, wipe them away with tired hands and move on to do the work that needs to be done in our lives and in the world. Here are some lessons I’ve learned in my transition and would like to share.

1. “Get tough skin. Know you’re somebody and keep it moving!” Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You are a child of God and you can be all that you want to be if you believe in you!

2. Find your support system. You need someone who you can lean on and share your spirit with. Whether it’s one or five people, on the phone or through email. Find it! Make sure you trust that person or persons to respect your privacy and confidentiality.

3. Laugh. I think this one is pretty self-explanatory…find the time to laugh. Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. It’s just life.

4. Find the time to sit in nature. Or walk in it. I’ve found that there’s something about shedding your tears and joys in nature. Take time to sit still and have some “me” time.

5. Stand up for yourself! I’ve had to learn the hard way about the importance of respecting and standing by your integrity and maintaining your dignity. No matter how difficult, don’t let anyone diminish who you are. It just not worth it. Standing up for right may hurt some but you must always be true to yourself.

6. Find what makes you creative and happy. This says everything and nothing. But if you like to draw, sing, write, dance, paint, read, converse, walk, or whatever…do it. Find something fulfilling to help you release and renew your energy.

7. Listen to Music. While you’re getting ready for the day, cleaning, cooking, driving, working, and etc. A good song can go a long way. Music can heal the heart and sooth the soul. I simply cannot live without it. I am currently listening to Kem’s new cd. Awesome…..

Cheers to transitions.

One year ago today, in celebration of the birthday of my late father Kelly Easter, Jr., a man who was so supportive of me throughout my life, I launched Sistahology.com with the goal of empowering women through online journaling.

I want to thank all of you who have come on this journey with me during these past 12 months, not only my valued subscribers and those of you who receive the weekly blog via Facebook and Twitter, but also everyone who offered words of encouragement, inspiration, or advice. With your support and feedback I will continue to improve the Sistahology.com experience.

Hopefully you’ve already begun to enjoy the healthful, life-affirming benefits of self-expression through online journaling with a subscription to Sistahology.com. If not, I encourage you to subscribe today. In the coming year you will see new events and guest bloggers, among other features. And, of course, I will continue to post my weekly Sunday blog to encourage you to continue to dream big, go further, climb higher, and stay motivated to create the life you desire.

Again, my most sincere thanks for your support.

As a person who resists change until it actually occurs, I know how it feels to be put in an unfamiliar environment and being unsure of the next step. It can be tough letting go of the reigns sometimes and embracing change. While it’s always important to be alert and aware of where you’re going, isn’t it also good to keep up with the moment and enjoy where you are? I know it’s all been said before, but I truly believe that it’s important to let go once in a while and let beauty surround you.

Sometimes, it’s healthy to give yourself a bit of leeway and take small risks to make life more interesting: a break from the routine. Embrace your surroundings when you’re somewhere new. Sometimes it’s fun to make memories that you wouldn’t normally make, and never let someone take your memories simply because they aren’t making any of their own.

I suggest you mix it up once in a while. Change up your routine and go walk around your city or town after work. Go somewhere you’ve never been and live in the moment. Just do what feels like it would make your life more interesting. Be strong, independent, and adventurous!

Cheers to change.

We live our lives in one continuous cycle; a continuous cycle that brings us good days and a continuous cycle that brings us some bad days. Life brings us joy and excitement. Life also brings us sorrow and pain. And for certain, life always brings us our fair share of worries.

What are you worrying about?

Does it feel sometimes like you’re carrying the world’s burdens on your shoulders?

The question today is, what are you worrying about?

Let it Go!

Some of the heaviest burdens that we bare in life are not the burdens of our own. It’s the burdens of the people that we love the most. Have you ever found yourself up late into the night, heart beating fast, mind racing, with tears in your eyes, thinking about a problem or a situation that you in all honesty can’t fix?

Maybe you have a love one fighting a drug addiction. No matter what you say, no matter how much help you extend to that person; it seems that it’s not enough to help send them down the path to recovery. Maybe you have a son or a brother heading down the wrong path. He won’t listen to you or won’t take the advice that you have given him to heart. Your spirit is broken. You know that if he doesn’t straighten up, it’s only two places that he will end up; in a jail cell or in a grave.

The problem is this; you can’t force anyone to change. You can’t make someone become drug-free. You can’t make someone want to aspire for greatness in their own life. They have to first want all those things themselves. If they don’t, you can’t help them, you can’t fix the problem or the situation.

So the next time you find yourself up late into the night, heart beating fast, mind racing, with tears in your eyes, thinking about a problem or a situation that you in all honesty can’t fix. In that moment “Let Go and Let God.”  Cheers!

It’s a normal feeling – for instance, maybe you just spent all week on the run and haven’t had any time to breathe. However, even though all you can think about it staying in bed all day under the covers, you committed every waking minute to plans. Deep down, you feel this underlying dread.You think, “Why didn’t I just say no?” It’s hard to decline to family members, friends, or anyone important for that matter. I know that I do it all the time – overbooking myself so that in the end, I have no time to think. It’s a continuous cycle that is hard to break, especially when it seems that everyone’s demands seem to fall around the same time. While it’s typically good for you to live in the moment and seize all opportunities, sometimes it’s bad for your health if you just continue ignoring your body’s pleas for rest and never take a break. How exactly do you do this if you constantly are worried about disappointing people? This isn’t about the “canceling” as much as the “thinking about yourself” and keeping your sanity. You can’t constantly be selfless and make people happy – sometimes you have to make YOURSELF happy and just say “no” once in a while.

1. Make a point to turn down at least one activity a week. If it’s an overly busy week and there’s something you can cancel, do it. Make time for yourself for at least an hour a day. Even just giving yourself time to read or listen to music is a good use of de-stress time. Basically, anything that makes you feel relaxed is fair game.

2. Tell the family member/friend about your busy schedule and lack of breathing room. If they realize that you’re turning it down because you’re overwhelmed, they’re more likely to understand and be open to a rain-check. Obviously, you can’t turn down the same person too often if you want to keep their trust. If you find yourself turning down one particular person all of the time, ask yourself, “Am I doing this because I need “me-time” or is it because I just don’t really want to see them?” If it’s the latter, it’s best to gracefully stop contacting them and you both can move on to new contacts with no hard feelings.

3. I was happy to find that Oprah gives a very cohesive list of how to say “no” to anything and everything! Obviously, she’s the Queen of Talk, so I feel like her fifty-seven ideas are just something that must be read.

4. Keep your home as uncluttered as your schedule. Messy/dysfunctional living quarters just makes it less easy to concentrate and you most likely to want to avoid being there. If everything’s clean, you can decompress and feel more comfortable with staying home, therefore, keeping yourself sane.

5. Don’t overestimate how much you can do. Knowing your limits with plans and how much you can handle is an important way to keep yourself from overdoing it. If you can feel comfortable saying “no” when it’s something that’s not immediately important, then you can prioritize better and realize what’s best for your life.

Basically, being yourself, knowing your limits, and being prepared to use your prioritizing power to plan your life is the best way to go. Only you can be the judge as to what you do in your life. Make the right decisions for YOU and stay sane – keep an open mind and know when to say “no” versus “yes we can!” Cheers!