sistahology.com

Don’t be afraid to get back up and to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.

Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep growing.  Cheers!

Remember, happiness comes from your own choices and actions. Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.  The more you take responsibility for your past and present, the more you are able to create the future you seek.

So stop blaming others for what you have or don’t have, or for what you feel or don’t feel.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility and perpetuate the problem.  Stop giving your power away and start taking responsibility for your life.  Blaming is just another sorry excuse, and making excuses is the first step towards both misery and failure.  YOU, and only you, are responsible for your decisions; make a good one right now that you will certainly thank yourself for later.  Cheers!

You don’t have to swallow your tears. You don’t have to hide how you feel or ignore your pain. You have to give yourself a hug, look yourself in the eyes, and say, “I’m sad and I’m angry and I’m hurting.  And you know what? That’s okay.  My feelings are valid.  I’m not broken or crazy.  I’m wounded.  But I can heal.  And I’m going to be okay.

Maybe not today or tomorrow or a week from now, but sometime soon, this is going to pass.  And until it does, I’m going to keep taking care of myself.  I’m going to talk back to the negative voice making me feel some kind of way and speak to myself with kindness.  I’m going to let myself feel my feelings and do self-care.  And I’m going to treat myself like a friend.  Because if there’s one person who deserves my love and affection, it’s me.  Cheers to YOU sistah-girl!

It’s so easy to feel uncared for when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way that you need.  And it’s so hard not to internalize that silence as a reflection on your worth.  But the truth is that the way other people operate is not about you.  Most people are so caught up in their own responsibilities, struggles, and anxiety that the thought of asking someone else how they’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind.  They aren’t inherently bad or uncaring — they’re just busy and self-focused. And that’s okay.  It’s not evidence of some fundamental failing on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or invisible.  It just means that those people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own world. But the fact that you are — that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others — is a strength.  Your work isn’t to change who you are; it’s to find people who are able to give you the connection you need.  Because despite what you feel, you are not too much.  You are not too sensitive or too needy.  You are thoughtful and empathetic.  You are compassionate and kind.  And with or without anyone’s acknowledgement or affection, you are enough.  Cheers to YOU!

After a two month break I am back!  Now, ready to embrace & celebrate 5 years of writing and inspiring those that want to be inspired!  Cheers to another great year!

STATE OF MIND

Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage. Too often we amuse ourselves with anxious predictions, deceive ourselves with negative thinking, and ultimately live in a state of hallucination about worst-case scenarios. We overlook everything but the plain, downright, simple, honest truth.

When you invent problems in your relationships, your relationships ultimately suffer. Insecurity is often the culprit. If you doubt yourself and you don’t realize your own worth, you will pass on any opportunity to let others care for you, and you will remain stuck with the insecurity issues that weigh you down.  Remember relationships are not just intimate; these can be with your children, parents, siblings, or co-workers.

The insecure passenger does not trust anyone else to drive. They feel out of control. They imagine that the driver is not paying attention. Or they may even fantasize that the slight jolting of the driver stepping on the breaks is a sign of doom via an impending collision. They freak themselves out by assuming that the visions they have invented in their mind represents reality.

What you need to realize is that there are normal idiosyncrasies to any relationship. There are ups and downs and mood changes, moments of affection and closeness and moments of friction. These ups and downs are normal. Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting to be a passenger in a car that has no driver.

Next time you feel insecure, and you catch yourself stressing about problems that don’t exist, stop yourself and take a deep breath. Then tell yourself, “This problem I’m concerned with only exists in my mind.” Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening in your life is an important step towards self-confidence.  Cheers!