sistahology.com

As we end 2010 and enter 2011 try making a commitment to keep a journal each time you make an entry, date it and time stamp it. You will be amazed how much journaling will help keep you peaceful and stress-free.  Journaling helps you to vent your feelings. It may seem like a chore, but over time, even over the course of a few days, it’s kind of therapeutic to look back at how you were feeling sooo overwhelmed, say, on Wednesday, but then by Saturday, you started to see how things are slowly, but surely, looking better. And maybe 1 year after you’ve successfully made it through the transition, when life throws you the next curve ball, you can look back at that journal and see how you successfully maneuvered thru the other challenge, right? So the journal kind of says, “Don’t worry, you’ll make it thru this one, too”.  Visit Sistahology.com to start journaling.  Cheers!

As we enter the week of Thanksgiving, we should all look and think back over the last 11 months and take a moment to acknowledge all the things we have to be “Thankful” for.  If you are blessed to read this posting you have been blessed with the gift of life and vision.  For me this has been a trying year in so many ways but I am reminded by the scripture that says “in all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct my path”.  And I am a witness that the word is right.   I had to really acknowledge the gift of acceptance, and letting go.  I realize that people come in your life for a reason, season or a life time.  And I am very thankful that God blessed me to just “LET GO” of so many people, situations and circumstances, replacing those things with the gift of “I don’t care”.   I can truly testify that I am FREE and it feels SO good. 

A few things I am thankful for, God grace & mercy, good health, family, a few good ride or die friends, love, being in love, peace, and all the joy God has allowed me to experience in my life. 

I ask that you take some time today in stillness and record at least 5 things you are thankful for, and give thanks today and every day for all things.  I pray you & your family embrace a blessed Thanksgiving Season.  Cheers!

It seems the older I get, the more mercy the Lord reveals to me. Most of us never think about actually committing the Seven Deadly Sins. The truth of the matter is that we do these things every single day. We just don’t recognize them for what they are.

Pride- All I have to do to recall God’s mercies in this area of my life is to look at my few extra lines. They just keep growing; deeper and deeper, more and more. Oh, and my hair! A little more gray grows in every day. If I am tempted to feel a little prideful about my appearance or my attitude, If we could just imagine that a camera crew follows us around for a day. Would a secret movie of your life would reveal you at your best or worst. Would you have any pride left?

Greed -I probably would be a very greedy person without God’s mercy. I could easily imagine myself wanting more. God’s cure for this ill? I am so busy that I don’t have time to want anything besides a hot shower and a warm bed. Just like most women, I am trying to split myself between my duties as a good daughter, great Godmother, church work and other jobs that comeup.  In this way the Lord covers another one of the sins.

Sloth- Some days I feel like one of those toaster pastries. I pop up and down all day. “Mom, can you do this or that.” “Babe, where’s my driver’s license?” “Emails to write and return”.  Yikes! I would actually love the chance to be lazy, but most days it’s just not going to happen. I feel like I have on a built on super-woman cape!

Lust- “He’s so cute!”  “ I just gotta get with him”, “I just gotta have that car”. I think we all have something we lust after from time to time. It’s simply an ongoing struggle to always be pure of heart.  But, we can always try.

Gluttony – I love food. There are times when are arms are barely long enough for us to grab a first helping, let alone a second.  Sometimes I we are either too tired or too busy to eat. God is so good.

Envy- I drive past a beautiful, big house and my only thought is: “Glad I don’t have to clean it.” As you mature you begin to realize that everything comes with some strings attached, this knowledge makes it fairly easy to not want what you don’t have.

Anger – Okay, truth time, I still struggle with this one every day. I do realize, though, that life is short and the time I waste being angry is time I could have spent showing love.  I am learning everyday not to let just the everyday matters of life get to me! 

I pray that God will continue to work on me – I am definitely a work in progress. Even though the serious temptations are reduced in some way, I am even more aware of the many ways I do sin, everyday. I trust in the continued mercy of God.  If we could all just admit this we would be so much better off.  Cheers to honesty!

When you think of your life in balance, what do you imagine? Do you feel content just because responsibility and pleasure have both fallen into the same day? Personally, I like to have everything in place in my life, the easy and difficult intertwined to balance out my mind and make me feel secure. When something doesn’t go as planned, it can throw the balance off and sometimes it can be hard to break the cycle.

For some people, this doesn’t happen very often because they just go with the tides of life. Most of the time, it’s easy to go with the flow, but when there’s a lack of balance in life, it can change things. When it’s been a long week and something goes wrong, it’s hard to not feel off balance.

If you’re the most comfortable when things are going your way, then you’re like most people. It’s hard to let go of yourself and just let things happen as they’re meant to happen. Having a balance in life is what many religions and mantras state as being one of the calmest states. It’s true, though – when you feel like you’re been given both challenges and freedom in succession, then you feel accomplished and peaceful at the same time. However, this balance also gives you a sense of security that you’re doing fine even if everything isn’t perfect. You could be stressing about your next move, but know that with the bad comes the good in an endless circle of unity. It’s the security in knowing that nothing stays the same forever and that bad situations shall pass, leading into better pastures. Security is also the opposite of vulnerability, which is what happens when things feel “off-balance.”

Having equality in all areas of life is impossible most of the time. It’s pretty rare when everything feels completely perfect, yet it’s with the imperfections of complete balance and strives to have as much unity in your life as possible. That might mean calming yourself down when something doesn’t go quite the way you planned, but assuring yourself that everything will balance out eventually. Balance doesn’t necessarily have to mean security even it might make you feel secure. Life is an ever-moving sphere of changes and feeling off balance for a day or more doesn’t have to be such a trial. The quote, “This too shall pass” I add to that “now would be a good time”.  It’s important to remember that balance is a relative idea and that whatever you consider to be “stressful” might not even be a cause for concern. By realizing that balance is all in your mind, then you can truly come to realize what real unity and peace is.  Cheers!

As women it’s in our nature to give, nurture and protect yet, do we offer ourselves the same in return.  If we do, it’s usually out of being worn-to-the core of our being.  Make a promise to take care of “YOU” today without any guilt.

Let’s keep it real it’s not marriage, motherhood or our careers wearing many of us down, it’s our choices.  When was the last time you really felt rested?  Not, just because you woke up this morning, but rejuvenated?  Even with all that we do as wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends, it’s what we’re not doing that’s got us beat up and worn down.  But, suppose the old saying is true, that a woman is no good to anyone if not good to herself first?  I strongly believe this.

As we have entered the fall season, make a commitment to rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit.  Make a renewal plan for yourself, especially as we get ready to enter the holiday seasons, try not to overload yourself with commitments you can’t keep or that zap all your energy.  It’s okay to say no, and be good to yourself!  Cheers.

As we enter the last quarter of 2010 most people will begin to set end of the year goals and a new year’s resolution. I challenge you to choose to purse and live your dream. Open your mind to the possibilities that are ahead of you. Make a conscientious choice that you are going to live everyday of your life to the fullest.

Recently our pastor posed the following questions to the congregation. I think they are very timely and appropriate for this challenge.  Answer these questions as if they were a reflection of your true heart’s desire for your life.

DARE TO DREAM

• What are the five things you value most in life?

• In thirty seconds or less, write down the three most important goals in your life right now.

• What would you do if you hit the lottery and won a million dollars tax free tomorrow?

• If you only had six months to live, how would you spend your time?

• What have you always wanted to do, but were just afraid to try?

• Looking back over your life, what type of activities gives you the greatest sense of importance and mental wellbeing?

• Imagine if you were granted one wish that you can achieve, what would it be?

After answering these questions, can you honestly say that your current goals and activities mirror your true desires?  Why or why not?  I challenge you to make the necessary life changes that will allow you to live your dream and enjoy your life.  Cheers!

In our already complex lives getting out of a stuck place isn’t as swift as we think.  Life, unlike something’s won’t always give us obvious indicators that it’s in need of help.  You are just at a standstill.

Identifying that we’re in a rut takes self-reflection time that may not be built into the tight schedules many of us balance.  “So the routine of just getting by can quickly and quietly become second nature.  Most women fall into ruts because we embrace more than we probably should be taking on.  So when we get overwhelmed, we find ourselves trying to do whatever’s easiest and move in the direction that causes us to develop bad habits.”  Our daily routine of commuting to work, coming home, cooking dinner, and just going to bed just to do it all over again the next day may seem harmless.  But, in actuality, it traps us into joyless existences with lack of purpose and passion.

Ask yourself:

Is this what you thought your life would be like?  What would your life be like without your regular routine? Understand it’s your life and you can choose how you want to experience it.

Meditate on what caused you to get in the rut in the first place and then find out what’s causing you to stay stuck.  “There’s a familiar saying: What you resist will persist”.  Deal with the issues that have kept you in a stale, unsatisfying and predictable life, and affirm that you will no longer miss out on enjoying it.  Only you can say when enough is enough of the same old-same old.  Try journaling a list of things you want to add or subtract from your life.  Establish little changes to get immediate results so you can feel and see you’re moving forward.  We get into ruts based on how we think about things.  We keep speaking and thinking those things, and our actions are manifested in that way.  When you find yourself falling back into old habits ask yourself why you’re doing it.  That thoughtful moment will enable you to make an alternate choice. 

Starting a new routine is rarely easy.  But after some time, operating from a stuck place isn’t so effortless, either.  It can take a while to dig into a rut, so expecting and overnight turnaround out of the rut is a setup for disappointment.  Being active in the process of change and recognizing that a new day is another opportunity to make it happen is better than beating yourself up for not accomplishing the goals you set the day before.  Stay focused and you will be free……  Cheers!

Sometimes, it’s easy to raise your own expectations about a situation just because it could possibly come true. I know I’m guilty of doing that – just when I like someone or I think life’s going well, something goes wrong because I put too much effort into thinking about it. This is very probable when it comes to friendship or dating, as first impressions can be deceiving. Either that or your nervousness puts a damper on what they thought of you and awkwardness ensued. It’s easy to put yourself into these situations without even realizing it. Being a shy person has its perks as you end up being the listener most of the time. However, when you’re asked a direct question (and you put too much thought into giving the “right” answer), it’s just as bad if you can’t find the words to say.

Awkwardness isn’t a bad thing – it can be endearing, for one thing. However, it’s not good to let yourself shut down and just mess up a situation just because you’re nervous. If the person you’re trying to form a relationship with really likes you, they won’t care if you say something silly or mess up a pronunciation. They’ll listen to you no matter what and like you for who you are. From personal experience, I’ve had to put behind me the times when I’ve messed up a possible connection just because I couldn’t think of anything to say and it just got weird. I embrace my personality, but sometimes, it’s hard not to freak out while talking to someone of interest or new in your life. When the inevitable “awkward silence” comes out, it’s best to find humor in the situation. Laugh a little. It catches on!

One huge tip I have for the nervous-talkers is: BE YOURSELF. Seriously, there’s not one situation that I regret being myself and just keeping it real. Even if some people aren’t receptive to you, they don’t matter in the long run. It’s the people who understand you and know where you’re coming from that are the best to put your time into. This might sound incredibly obvious, but sometimes the most obvious is the hardest to do. It’s taken me many years to realize that. Some people can be mean or not “get you,” but all of that negative energy is just not worth it. Surround yourself with people who don’t question your uniqueness and accept you for you, awkward moments and all. In the long run, just keep clarity of the situation while being who you want to be, and your strong, independent self will thank you in the end. Cheers!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and according to BlackDoctor.org “African-American females experience higher death rates from breast cancer than any other racial or ethnic group.” This is partially due to African-American women tending to have more aggressive tumors. The fact is not meant to scare you, but it is meant as a wake-up call.

Educate yourself and women you know on risk factors, discover ways to reduce the risk of breast cancer, learn how to give yourself a breast exam, and help to fight breast cancer. And remember, if you are over 40 years of age, it is important to schedule an annual mammogram.

Below is your own personal mini guide to help you get started on your breast cancer awareness.

Risk Factors:

Family history
Early puberty (before 12 years old) or Late menopause (after 55 years old)
Not having children or Having children after 30 years old
Obesity and high-fat diets
2 to 5 alcoholic drinks daily

Reduce the Risk:

Exercise or Being physically active
Eat Soy, Broccoli, Red Apples, Red Cabbage or Red Grapes
Drink green tea
Regular screening tests
Avoid hormone replacement therapy if possible

Self Examination (from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc):

Breast cancer self-examinations should be done monthly at the same time of the month, and right after your period ends.

In the Shower
Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine the left breast, left hand for the right breast. Check for any lump, hard knot, or thickening. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.

Before a Mirror
Inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour of each breast, a swelling, a dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Then rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women’s breasts do.

Lying Down
Place a pillow under your right shoulder and put your right arm behind your head. With the fingers of your left hand flat, press your right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Fight Breast Cancer:

Donate, fundraise and/or volunteer. You can also shop at selected stores where the proceeds are donated to the fight. Check out these sites for various ways on how you can help them fight breast cancer.

National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.
Susan G. Kormen for the Cure
AVON Walk for Breast Cancer
save the ta tas
The National Marathon to finish Breast Cancer
Sephora’s “Beauty with a Cause”
Yoplait’s Save Lids to Save Lives
Clinique’s World Pink
The Estée Lauder Companies’ “World Pink. World Without Breast Cancer.”

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and according to BlackDoctor.org “African-American females experience higher death rates from breast cancer than any other racial or ethnic group.” This is partially due to African-American women tending to have more aggressive tumors. The fact is not meant to scare you, but it is meant as a wake-up call.

Educate yourself and women you know on risk factors, discover ways to reduce the risk of breast cancer, learn how to give yourself a breast exam, and help to fight breast cancer. And remember, if you are over 40 years of age, it is important to schedule an annual mammogram.

Below is your own personal mini guide to help you get started on your breast cancer awareness.

Risk Factors:

Family history
Early puberty (before 12 years old) or Late menopause (after 55 years old)
Not having children or Having children after 30 years old
Obesity and high-fat diets
2 to 5 alcoholic drinks daily

Reduce the Risk:

Exercise or Being physically active
Eat Soy, Broccoli, Red Apples, Red Cabbage or Red Grapes
Drink green tea
Regular screening tests
Avoid hormone replacement therapy if possible

Self Examination (from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc):

Breast cancer self-examinations should be done monthly at the same time of the month, and right after your period ends.

In the Shower
Fingers flat, move gently over every part of each breast. Use your right hand to examine the left breast, left hand for the right breast. Check for any lump, hard knot, or thickening. Carefully observe any changes in your breasts.

Before a Mirror
Inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour of each breast, a swelling, a dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Then rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women’s breasts do.

Lying Down
Place a pillow under your right shoulder and put your right arm behind your head. With the fingers of your left hand flat, press your right breast gently in small circular motions, moving vertically or in a circular pattern covering the entire breast. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.

Fight Breast Cancer:

Donate, fundraise and/or volunteer. You can also shop at selected stores where the proceeds are donated to the fight. Check out these sites for various ways on how you can help them fight breast cancer.

National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc.
Susan G. Kormen for the Cure
AVON Walk for Breast Cancer
save the ta tas
The National Marathon to finish Breast Cancer
Sephora’s “Beauty with a Cause”
Yoplait’s Save Lids to Save Lives
Clinique’s World Pink
The Estée Lauder Companies’ “World Pink. World Without Breast Cancer.”