7 Steps to Life Success

July 11th, 2010
  1. Define your goals:  “You have to know exactly what you’re going after in order to pursue your goal.
  2. Believe in your ability: Loose feelings of regret and guilt, instead, take that energy and redirect it towards a positive outcome.  Keep in mind “all things are possible”.
  3. Stay Positive: Don’t bash on you rather compliment yourself.  Re-adjusting your attitude to focus on the positives will inspire you to create experiences that allow you to believe in YOU!
  4. Imagine your goal: Visualization allows you to get comfortable with the possibility of change.  If it’s the house you want: You should focus on what does it look like, what does feel like, etc.;
  5. Get Educated:  If you need to gain knowledge and learn more about your goal or pursuit take time to gain the information required for you to be successful.  Remember, knowledge is power.
  6. Don’t Fear Failure:  It is an integral part of success.  It is part of the process and a way to learn and grow wiser.
  7. Get Feedback:  Don’t be afraid of receiving constructive criticism, as a matter of fact seek it out.  Look for someone who’s educated in the goal you’re trying to achieve.

 Don’t give up, stay focused and remember to surround yourself with positive people.  All the best!

Nothing To It

July 4th, 2010

Feeling the need to hang a “do not disturb” sign on the door?  If health and well-being are a priority on your to-do list, take an authorized timeout and temporarily dismiss your multitasking genie.

Call it mastering the art of doing nothing.  As demands in our personal and professional lives get more complex, it becomes more important to schedule time for doing absolutely nothing, even if just for a short period of time per day.

Start by finding a quiet space that filters out all distractions.  Choose a place where you can easily just be- and be more comfortable.  Next, breathe deeply and light a candle.  It is a simple technique that is critical to supplying the body and organs with oxygen while helping get rid of toxins.  Try prayer and meditation to de-stress in the middle of a hectic day.  At home, make use of the bathtub and set up a mini spa.  Drop in a fragrance bath bomb to enhance the experience (Lavendar is awesome).

Remember, doing absolutely “nothing” can make everything perfect.  And you will feel so “refreshed”.  Happy 4th of July.  Cheers.

How to Embrace Your Uniqueness & Just Be Yourself

June 27th, 2010

Sometimes,  it’s easy to raise your own expectations about a situation just because it could possibly come true. I know I’m guilty of doing that – just when I like someone or I think life’s going well, something goes wrong because I put too much effort into thinking about it. This is very probable when it comes to friendship or dating, as first impressions can be deceiving. Either that or your nervousness puts a damper on what they thought of you and awkwardness ensued. It’s easy to put yourself into these situations without even realizing it. Being a shy person has its perks as you end up being the listener most of the time. However, when you’re asked a direct question (and you put too much thought into giving the “right” answer), it’s just as bad if you can’t find the words to say.

Awkwardness isn’t a bad thing – it can be endearing, for one thing. However, it’s not good to let yourself shut down and just mess up a situation just because you’re nervous. If the person you’re trying to form a relationship with really likes you, they won’t care if you say something silly or mess up a pronunciation. They’ll listen to you no matter what and like you for who you are. From personal experience, I’ve had to put behind me the times when I’ve messed up a possible connection just because I couldn’t think of anything to say and it just got weird. I embrace my personality, but sometimes, it’s hard not to freak out while talking to someone of interest or new in your life. When the inevitable “awkward silence” comes out, it’s best to find humor in the situation. Laugh a little. It catches on!

One huge tip I have for the nervous-talkers is: BE YOURSELF. Seriously, there’s not one situation that I regret being myself and just keeping it real. Even if some people aren’t receptive to you, they don’t matter in the long run. It’s the people who understand you and know where you’re coming from that are the best to put your time into. This might sound incredibly obvious, but sometimes the most obvious is the hardest to do. It’s taken me many years to realize that. Some people can be mean or not “get you,” but all of that negative energy is just not worth it.  Surround yourself with people who don’t question your uniqueness and accept you for you, awkward moments and all. In the long run, just keep clarity of the situation while being who you want to be, and your strong, independent self will thank you in the end.  Cheers!

Happy Father’s Day

June 20th, 2010

Today, we take time to celebrate all fathers.  A Father should be recognized as a man of honor, a man of pride, a man of strength, a man of wisdom, a man of courage, a man of faith, a man that provides, a man of guidance & understanding. 

Today, for you celebrating father’s we salute you for all that you are, all that you mean to us, all that you do, and all of the love you give unconditionally.  May you continue to be blessed!  Cheers!

Fashion fades; Style is eternal

June 13th, 2010

Not only do you not have to wear torn jeans, and a fedora to be considered stylish.  The point of fashion is to indulge briefly in something fun.  The point of style is to have one, and it should last you a lifetime.  All you have to do is think you deserve to look and feel your best and spend time figuring out how to do it.  Don’t know where to start, try finding a woman whose style you admire and ask for a little advice.  You must ultimately search within because style is who “you” are, and no one can beat you being you!  Cheers to you & style.

Honoring Yourself in Truth

June 6th, 2010

Truth is eternal; it’s the same today and forever more.  Truth exists at the core of every human life.  We must embrace truth.  Today, I walk in truth realizing that some days are harder than others.  Good or bad we must all face the truth about life, who we are and all of the decisions we make.  We must always be true to ourselves.  Cheers.

Strength

May 30th, 2010

Strong women- that’s a common description for most of us.  Where does it come from and how do we keep our strength strong?  For me, it can be summed up in a passage from Exodus 15:2, “the Lord is my strength”.  I also draw strength from my family, friends, character and reputation.  People who know me believe that my word is bond.  The strength of your character and reputation allow people to believe in you. 

Sometimes, however, our strength falters.  We can unintentionally fall short, because of brain overload, multitasking, procrastination, or simply the highs and lows of life.  When your strength gets shaken, but not your faith, learn to lean of family and true friends and keep the faith and know that this too shall pass. Remember you are stronger than you think.

Find the strength to go for your dreams-no matter what anyone else thinks.  After all, it’s your life and you get only one shot.  You’re strong enough to live out your dreams for yourself, family and friends.  If you don’t think you’re as strong as you’d like to be, fake it till you make it, I believe you are stronger than you know.  Cheers.

Spring Clean Your Friendships!

May 23rd, 2010

When the spirit of spring takes hold, we find ourselves wanting to clear the clutter from every area of our lives. We don’t just long to dump the junk from our closets and dust the corners that were barely noticeable in the dark days of winter; we want to streamline our lives in more meaningful ways, too. Here are some tips on how to strengthen our existing friendships and cast off the ones that aren’t working anymore.

When we’re crazy busy but still want to maintain the friendships that we treasure, first thing’s first: how can we keep those relationships that we treasure going strong?

Consistency is key. Instead of the scheduling emails that can go back-and-forth for a week (“I can’t do Tuesday but are you free for Wednesday lunch? How ’bout two weeks from next Thursday?”), set one regular date and stick to it.

Get deep. Our friendships sustain us not when the conversation skims the surface of boyfriend updates and work woes, but when we feel like we’re connecting with someone in a meaningful way, being heard and understood. If you can’t talk about the meaning of life face-to-face without feeling like you’re in Philosophy 101, turn it into an email exchange… “Email each other a question to answer like what are three things you wish you had more of in your life, what is one of your favorite childhood memories, or what is one thing about your life that surprises you right now?”

What about those toxic friendships? You know the ones. Either you have a friend who has turned terminally negative, doesn’t support your dreams and endeavors, who frequently break plans or causes you more stress than joy. Sometimes a real friend can practically turn into a frenemy. How can we spring clean those relationships without guilt?

Let go quietly. It’s important, “to recognize that not all friendships are for life and its okay to not force something that isn’t there anymore.” Sometimes the make-up of our lives changes significantly and certain friendships don’t withstand the shift. If our friends are there, in part, “to enhance our current experiences in life,” sometimes life just changes the dynamics. In situations like these, you don’t need to risk burning a bridge. Generally the feeling will be mutual. Stop initiating plans together until you see each other less and less, and the friendship has phased out.

Give awkwardness a chance. Even the best relationships go through rocky periods, and it’s important to remember that a friendship can be strong and vital after conflict — perhaps even more so. “Our relationships are often ‘pseudo-community’ until we have some crisis or difficulty that can facilitate a deeper bond”. “It’s important not to simply walk away every time someone disappoints you.”

Have a conversation.
If the friendship can’t be patched, either because you’ve been seriously wronged or you feel misunderstood, having a conversation — no matter how awkward —is better than a cold turkey end to a friendship. It gives each person the opportunity to say their piece and could potentially increase understanding on both sides. “Worst case scenario,” “it turns into a break-up talk but you know you tried. Best case scenario: you become better friends with valuable shared history saved.”  Cheers! 

Self-Acceptance

May 16th, 2010

A great majority of the women struggle with the same issue: lack of self-acceptance.

In fact, many women (me included) find it hard to love and appreciate themselves, harping on their various flaws rather than accentuating the positives. Are you guilty of this?

More than likely, the answer is yes. We’ve been taught to play up the bad and filter out the good in everything from our relationships to our careers. Sadly, this behavior extends to unfair judgment of peers, strangers, and most destructive of all, ourselves.

In order to begin developing genuine self-esteem, you must first learn to accept your whole self. The very essence of you… the good, the bad and the ugly. Again, we were trained to believe that self-acceptance is not possible until we reach perfection. Hopefully, we’re all in agreement that a nirvana state is not readily achievable.

As humans, we are always changing, growing and learning. There will always be things you dislike about yourself; behaviors you want to change, body parts you want to enlarge or shrink, etc. But despite these flaws, you must retrain your thinking and learn to love yourself anyway.

Acceptance is often confused with understanding. I’m in no way claiming that you need to understand why you do what you do, think what you think, or want or desire the things you do. Just as there are many things about this world you don’t understand (but you nonetheless accept), there are many things about yourself you’ll never understand — you’re a complex creature! Coming to terms with this is half the battle.

So how can you go about achieving self-acceptance? One activity is called the “Two-Sided Coin.” Simply draw a line down the center of a sheet of paper. In one column, list everything you love about yourself. In the other column, list the negatives. I’m willing to bet you’ll find it much easier to come up with bad characteristics, but please continue until each column is equal. If you have a difficult time coming up with positives, ask your family and friends for help.

Next, you’ll closely examine the list. You should come to notice that your negative characteristics couldn’t exist without the positives, and vice versa… just like the two sides of a coin. For example, on one hand you may list that you dislike your tendency to procrastinate. But, if you look at it from another angle, you may work better under pressure and actually produce better work. Go through your list of negatives and think up a positive for each.

In summary, please ladies, stop being so hard on yourselves! Everything you dislike about yourself has a positive counterpart. You’ll never be perfect, but that’s okay!

Happy Mother’s Day!

May 9th, 2010

Happy Mother’s Day

A strong woman- is one who feels deeply and loves fiercely.  Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter.

A strong woman-is both soft and powerful.  She is both practical and spiritual.

A strong woman-in her essence is a gift to the entire World.

Happy Mother’s Day- to a woman who shows what it takes to be one.

Happy Mother’s Day to you that are mothers, soon to be mothers or act like a mother!  Cheers.